The Badass of the Week.

The Blues Brothers


It's 106 miles to Chicago.
We've got a full tank of gas, half a pack of cigarettes,
it's dark and we're wearing sunglasses.
Hit it.


I caught The Blues Brothers on TNT recently and was quickly reminded that this is probably one of the most perfect movies ever created.  These guys are totally badass in every way, despite the fact that they spend half the movie running away from people and accomplish wussy things like saving orphanages instead of breaking peoples' faces with their foreheads.  There is just something about these two hapless brothers and their wild adventures that makes you totally pumped up and ready to crash a car through a window while smoking cigarettes, wearing a black suit and listening to James Brown.

The best part about it is that they are so timelessly cool.  This movie came out twenty-five years ago and watching it still makes me want to get a pair of sunglasses, join a blues band, drink an orange whip and make sweet dirty love to Carrie Fisher.  Twenty years from now, people will still watch this movie and be like, "damn those guys are cool".  You can't really do that with guys like Dwayne Wayne, He-Man or Marty McFly who, while totally cool at the time, seem more than a little dated (and kind of fruity) twenty years after the fact.

The Blues Brothers is an awesome movie and the only excuse for not watching it is that you were too busy getting your ass kicked by cool people because you suck and are a worthless excuse for a human being.  Being blind isn't eve an excuse for missing this movie.  You can just listen to it an imagine the most badass fat guy / skinny guy combination in all of film history running around being jackasses to everyone and getting away with it just because they rule and no fat cops can catch them.  This flick has all the necessary elements for a classic film, and even throws in those little things that movies today seem to overlook, such as "developed characters", "car chases", "humor" and "a plot".  Check it out:

Things That Rule About The Blues Brothers Movie:

  • Two badass lead characters
  • Ray Charles
  • Nuns
  • Nazis
  • James Brown
  • Gunfights
  • Cab Calloway
  • Rednecks
  • Fat guys doing handsprings
  • Aretha Franklin
  • Wagner's "Flight of the Valkyries"
  • Car chases
  • Cops making asses out of themselves
  • John Lee Hooker
  • Prison
  • Car crashes
  • The SWAT Team
  • Afros
  • Guys running around going "hut hut hut"
  • The National Guard
  • Sunglasses
  • Hats
  • The song "Rawhide"
  • Smoking
  • More Nazis
  • Explosions
  • Psychotic ex-girlfriends
  • Machine guns
  • Exploding Nazis
  • Orphans
  • Tanks rolling down the streets of Chicago
  • Frank Oz
  • An awesome old police car
  • Chicken wire
  • Suspension of the laws of physics
  • Princess Leia
  • Swearing
  • A car crashing through a plate glass window
  • The Army
  • Orange Whips

This movie has everything you could ever want in a film packed into ninety minutes of awesome.  See it or I will kill you.







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