Badass of the Week.

BADASS: A Relentless Onslaught of the Toughest Warlords, Vikings, Samurai, Pirates, Gunfighters and Military Commanders to Ever Live is an unstoppable collection of fact-based essays about some of the most ball-crushingly awesome historical figures to ever strap on a pair of chainmail gauntlets and punch a Yeti in the face.  From Julius Caesar and Vlad the Impaler to Horatio Nelson and George S. Patton, this relentless onslaught of badassitude is guaranteed to get you so pumped up that you will want to quit your crappy job, smash your office desk into splinters with your forehead and start a new career as a professional face-wrecker.

This 352-page book features a ton of new material not available on the website, and is also thick enough to be effectively used in close-quarters hand-to-hand combat with any ex-KGB secret agent ninjas that may attempt to deprive you of a tome so unbelievably violent and awesome that it might actually cause your fingers and eyes to bleed whenever you read it.  It includes a ton of totally sweet illustrations designed to give the reader a better idea of how to kick ass and look cool while doing so, including full-page artwork for each of the 40 featured characters.  The artists in this book have done work for Wizards of the Coast, White Wolf, and DC Comics, so you can be pretty damn sure that their work is going to melt your face right off of your head. Want proof? Check out this insanity:

Julius Caesar by Miguel Coimbra

Alaric the Bold by Matt Haley

Peter the Great by Thomas Denmark

Eliot Ness by Steven Belledin

Badass Chicks by Matt Haley

Sample page with art by Thomas Denmark and Matt Haley

Sample page with art by Thomas Denmark

And these are the low-res versions, so... yeah.  Even if you can't stand me or my writing style or history or anything even remotely related to the website, I can tell you right now that the artwork itself is probably worth the $16.99 this book is going to set you back.  Seriously, right now the Amazon pre-order page is listing the book at $11.46, which means you're getting almost a year's worth of Badass of the Week content for about the price of a medium, one-topping pizza.  Hell, you'd need to buy three copies just to qualify for Free Super Saver Shipping!

Have questions?  Here are some answers!

Q:  So what's the deal?

A:  The book has 40 badasses organized in chronological order through four major time periods:  Antiquity, the Middle Ages, the Age of Gunpowder, and the Modern Era.  It features 20 brand-new articles on great historical asskickers like Vlad the Impaler, Napoleon Bonaparte, William the Conqueror and Carlos Hathcock, 10 time-tested "greatest hits" from the website (guys like Patton, Jack Churchill, Leonidas, and Tesla who get a ton of hits and who I always receive a lot of positive feedback about), and 10 people already on the site who had old, crappy articles that desperately needed to be rewritten.  The rewrites are for some of my personal all-time favorite historical figures - dudes like Julius Caesar, Miyamoto Musashi, Chandragupta Maurya and Khalid bin Walid - who had short 200 word-pieces that left out a lot of really awesome facts about these incredible badasses. These articles have been completely rewritten, beginning to end, and the original (crappy) articles have been pulled from the site to avoid confusion.  I'm also including a bunch of interesting sidebars, features, and other totally sweet stuff, such as a list of "Badass Marines" and a feature on "Awesome Things You Can Shoot Out of a Catapult."  Basically, it's just a huge compilation of everything that I think kicks ass.  All told, I spent the last year of my life pouring my soul into this thing, and I'm really proud of the way it came out.

Q:  Where can I buy it?

A:  It's going to be available in most bookstores across North America (I know specifically about Barnes & Noble and Borders, but there will probably be many others as well), or you can buy it online at any of these fine establishments:


Barnes & Noble



Powell's Books

Q:  When is it coming out?

A:  The publication date is October 27, 2009, but pre-orders are on sale now at all of those links above.

Q:  Is your book going to be available in whatever crazy, non-North American country I live in?

A:  Only if you order online (Note: is offering good deals to folks in the UK).  As much as I would love to be able to sell BADASS to all of my friends across the pond, so far we haven't landed foreign deal. For the time being all of my international friends will have to go the online route and just hope that they don't get completely reamed by the shipping rates.  The eventual hope is that I'll sell enough copies in the U.S. and Canada that the overseas publishers will change their tune and decide to shelve it in stores, but that's far from a guarantee.  Plus, then you'd have to wait to get your hands on a copy of the book, and we all know that waiting sucks balls.

Q:  Are you doing a book tour?

A:  It's not in the publishing budget to fly me around the country signing babies and getting my picture taken with adoring fans (and running an advertisement-free website isn't exactly as lucrative an enterprise as you might expect), so right now there are only two book signings planned:  I'll be at the Barnes & Noble in Seattle's U-Village (2675 NE University Village Street) at 7:30pm on Friday, November 6th, and at Powell's on Hawthorne in Portland, Oregon (3723 SE Hawthorne Blvd.) at 7:30pm on Monday, November 23rd.  More dates/locations could potentially be added in the future, however, so I'll do my best to keep my Twitter and Facebook pages updated with the most current information.

Q:  I want to buy your book as a gift for a loved one.  What holidays would be appropriate?

A:  It would be considered socially acceptable to give BADASS as a present for Birthdays, Graduations, Halloween, Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, Ramadan, Divali, Vesak, Passover, Vaisakhi, Easter, Greek Easter, Thanksgiving, Festivus, Greek Festivus, Eid al-Fitr, Cinco de Mayo, the Fourth of July, Flag Day, President's Day, Veteran's Day, Memorial Day, Columbus Day, Whacking Day, Dia de los Muertos, Administrative Professional's Day, Father's Day, Mother's Day, Grandparents' Day, New Year's Day, April Fool's Day, Boxing Day, International Talk Like a Pirate Day, Bastille Day, D-Day, Labor Day, St. Patrick's Day, Wednesday, and Saint Michael's Feast Day.  Giving the book on any other occasion is grounds for pistols at dawn.

Q:  Given the current economic climate, I don't have much in the way of disposable income these days.  What should I do?

A:  I understand that these are tough times, so allow me to present you with a solid, rational plan:  First, ask your parents/spouse/kids/co-workers for twenty bucks.  Then, go to the bookstore and buy a brand new copy of BADASS for $16.99 (in the interests of full disclosure, I'm only suggesting this because I don't see royalty checks on used book sales).  On the way home, stop at Super Wal-Mart or something and use the remaining $3.00 to purchase thirty packages of ramen noodles (for variety, feel free to mix-and-match the flavors!).  Congratulations - you have now enriched your life in a fulfilling manner and purchased enough food to sustain yourself for a month!

Q:  I still have brilliant, insightful questions that weren't answered here should I panic?

A:  No!  Just e-mail me and I will do my best to get back to you as soon as I can.


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