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Chandragupta Maurya

This was the only picture of him I could find.


Chandragupta was born in around 300 BC in India and became an incredibly influential character in Indian history. The illegitimate son of the King of India and a peasant woman, Chandragupta was exiled from the kingdom in his youth in order to quiet any claim he had to the throne. Instead of chilling out in the Middle East, Chandragupta waited until the King died and then got together a huge army and headed back to India. His secret weapon was a contingent of nine thousand war elephants that he would feed large quantities of alcohol to prior to battle. The elephants would get drunk and pissed, freak out and trample anything in their way. No one was any match for the intoxicated elephants and Chandragupta overran the area from the Arabian Sea to the Bay of Bengal, conquering most of present-day India and declaring himself the ruler of the new Mauryan Empire in 321 BC.

The Greeks became wary of Chandragupta, so they crossed into India to battle him. Chandragupta got pissed out and defeated the Greek army, conquered Afghanistan, and then took the Greek Commander's daughter to be his wife because you know what they say about Greek chicks. They're hot.

What makes Chandragupta totally awesome is that he was totally paranoid out of his mind. He built a huge palace with hundreds of beds and he never slept in the same place twice. He had food testers taste everything he ate and he created the first ever secret police to defend him from assassination. The best part about it though is that he had an entourage of seven hundred female bodyguards that followed him everywhere he went. He said that he trusted females more to defend him and so he compiled his unit from the best Greek and Indian women he could find. That's just freaking awesome. If I was King I would do the same thing.

Chandragupta turned over his empire to his son in 298 BC and went in the desert to become a Jain Monk, where he became so totally X-treme that he fasted himself to death.






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