The Badass of the Week.

Lt. Brian Chontosh

"God has a hard-on for Marines, because we kill everything we see."

The Badass this week is First Lieutenant Brian R. Chontosh of the United States Marine Corps. Lt. Chontosh was heading up a convoy during the march to Baghdad when his unit came under heavy machinegun fire from a nearby trench system. According to reports, Chontosh didn't even flinch as he ordered his Humvee driver to DRIVE TOWARDS THE MACHINEGUN FIRE. The .50 cal gunner on the Humvee took out the machinegun nest and Chontosh bailed out into the trench where he went went around killing every motherfucker he came across. He used up all the ammo in his M16A2 service rife, his 9mm pistol as well as two AK-47s he picked up off of dead Iraqis. He even took some guys out with an RPG. All in all he wasted about twenty guys and injured several more when he single-handedly kicked the ass of an entire platoon of Iraqi Regular Infantry using everything but the kitchen sink as an implement of munchy crunchy death. For his actions, he was recently awarded a promotion to Captain, the Navy Cross for Heroism and a place in the Hall of Badassitude.


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