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of the week. con carne. store.

Max Hardberger - This guy steals $10 million cargo ships from pirates. Professionally.

Reinhold Messner - The world's greatest mountain climber.

Fridtjof Nansen - Arctic explorer, adventurer, scientist, and Nobel Prize winner.

Leonid Rogozov - Soviet surgeon removed his own appendix in Antarctica.

Mas Oyama - Godhand.

Frederick von der Trenck - 18th century German adventurer, soldier, and prison escapee.

Evel Knievel - The crazy daredevil whose insanity has become the stuff of legend.

Juliane Koepcke - 17 year old German girl survives a horrific plane crash and escapes the Amazon rain forest.

Buzz Aldrin - Fighter pilot, astronaut, moonwalker, face-puncher.

Tom Wanyandie - 78 year-old man saves his son from a bear by beating it with a stick.

Albert Johnson - The Mad Trapper of Rat River.

Hannah Duston - Frontierswoman escapes from her captors by killing them all with an axe.

Ben Nyaumbe - Man battles a giant, thirteen-foot, man-eating python for over three hours.

Vassilis Paleokostas - The Greek Robin Hood escaped from prison in a helicopter. Twice.

Harriet Tubman - Fearless conductor of the Underground Railroad.

Liver-Eating Johnson - It's not just a clever name.

Cloelia the Hostage - Heroine of the Roman Republic led a group of captive women to freedom.

M3 the Wolverine - The Alpha Male of the most insane family of ferocious mammals North America has to offer.

Sir Edmund Hillary - Climbed Mount Everest AND came back down.

F.A. Mitchell-Hedges - Spent his days being a living version of Indiana Jones, exploring dangerous territory and stealing treasure.

Alexander Selkirk - Stranded on an island for four years and not acting like a little bitch made this guy so awesome Daniel Defoe wrote Robinson Crusoe after him.

Thor Heyerdahl - Built ships out of seriously outdated materials to give the archaeological community something to scratch their heads at, and just for funsies.

John Henry - The Steel-Driving man, and the American working-class hero.

Joe Simpson - When climbing mountains wasn't enough, this motherfucker started climbing ice. ICE.

Indiana Jones - The most badass archaeologist to ever throw a Nazi into an airplane propeller.

Bear Grylls - Has more adventure in his left nut than you have in your entire body. And he drinks his own piss.

Sir Francis Drake - Took down the Spanish Armada with nothing but ambition and a bunch of ships he set on fire.

James T. Kirk - Captain on the Starship Enterprise, and made the Judo Chop what it is today.

Conan of Cimmeria - An adventurer who makes sleeping with babes in the middle of a battle look like a rare art form.

Odysseus - The Trojan war wasn't even enough of an adventure for this guy.

Beck Weathers - Almost died scaling Mount Everest, but ended up walking down the mountain, in the dark, with frostbite in nearly every single appendage.

Eric Nerhus - Eaten by a shark and survived. By a SHARK.

Giuseppe Garibaldi - Didn't matter what country he was in, he wanted some freedom goddamnit.

Steve Irwin - Craziest, coolest man to ever willingly shove his hand into a crocodile's danger zone.

Larcena Pennington - This chick made the Oregon Trail her bitch.

Race Bannon - Bold enough to bodyguard Johnny Quest. Strong enough to pistol-whip bears to death.

Jean-Pierre Hallet - The Most Interesting Man in the World meets Tarzan, in real life.

Richard Francis Burton - The manliest writer of all time.

Perseus - The mythological uber-hero who slew the Medusa, rode Pegasus, and saved the hot naked babe from a sea monster.

Teddy Roosevelt - Adventurer, explorer, soldier, American President, Medal of Honor recipient, and Nobel Peace Prize winner.

Inigo Montoya - My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die.

John Carter of Mars - The original gangsta of kicking the shit out of aliens and macking on hot space babes.

Molly the Cow - The insane cow that went on a wild rampage to avoid getting shipped to the slaughterhouse.

Ernest Henry Shackleton - Probably the most insane Antarctic explorer in history.

Hugh Glass - Killed a grizzly with his bare hands (hahaha puns FTW), then traveled 200 miles after being left for dead by his buddies.

Ash - Good, bad, he's the guy with the gun. And the chainsaw arm.

Alcibiades - The sex-crazed alcoholic naval commander who helped Athens gain advantage in the Peloponnesian War, then flipped sides and won the war for Sparta.

Daniel M'Mburugu - 73 year-old dude kills a wild leopard by punching it in the mouth and pulling it's tongue out of its head.

Aron Ralston - Amputated his own arm with a pocketknife in order to survive after a horrific canyoneering accident pinned him on a canyon floor.

Julie D'Aubigny - French opera singer who killed ten men in duels and once snuck into a convent to bang a nun.

Marie Colvin - Fearless war correspondent who spent a 30-year career embedding herself in every war-torn hellhole on Earth.

Bartholomew Roberts - The most successful and dangerous pirate to ever live.

Candido Rondon - Amazon explorer and hardass Brazilian engineer.

Tarzan - The original noble savage, and one of literature's most hardcore badasses.

Carl Akeley - Hunter, conservationist, killed a leopard with his bare hands.

Stagecoach Mary - Hard-drinking, hard-fighting Old West mail carrier.

Bob Crisp - Professional cricket player who smoked Nazis with a tank.

Roald Amundsen - The first man to conquer the South Pole.

Saint Nicholas - The patron saint of prostitutes, murderers, children, sailors, and punching heretics in the face.

Hernan Cortez - Conquistador who conquered the New World's most badass civilization with 600 soldiers.

Eugene Vidocq - The father of modern detective work.

Samuel White Baker - An old-school British colonial explorer, writer, and soldier who dedicated his entire life to badass adventure.

Hercules - The Greek God of Heroes.

Hell Roaring Healy - A life-saving legend in the Coast Guard, the first African-American to command a U.S. government vessel, and the man who single-handedly patrolled the Alaska coastline for over 20 years.

Spock - The most badass first officer in science fiction history.

Klondike Joe Boyle - Yukon gold-mining Secret Agent who managed a Stanley Cup hockey team, outfitted a WWI machine gun company, stole the Romanian crown jewels from a vault in Moscow, one fought a shark with a knife.

Ana Lezama de Urinza - Known as "The Valiant Ladies of Potosi", two aristocratic 17th-century lesbian lovers disguised themselves as cowboys and fought to clean up one of the toughest towns in all of South America.

Woodes Rogers - The man most responsible for single-handedly ending the Golden Age of Piracy in the Caribbean.

Drukpa Kunley - The Patron Saint of Bhutan brought the teaching of Buddhism to the people of the land... With his boner.

Baron von Ungern-Sternberg - The "Bloody Baron," this psychotic World War I Russian cavalry commander swore to horrifically butcher all who stood in the way of him forging a revived Mongol Empire.

Peter Freuchen - Peg-legged Danish polar explorer who lived with the Inuit, amputated his own toes with pliers, and once escaped certain death by making a knife out of his own frozen shit.

John Coffee Hays - One of the toughest and most celebrated Texas Rangers on the Wild West frontier.

Felix Von Luckner - World War I German commerce raider who sank 64,000 tons of British shipping and destroyed 14 vessels. With a three-masted old-school sailing ship. And without killing a single person.

Gotz von Berlichingen - Insanely-badass German Teutonic knight who survived five decades of war, battled enemies with a mechanical iron arm, and invented the phrase "kiss my ass".

Lewis and Clark - The guys who literally put 11 future U.S. states on the map.





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