The Badass of the Week.

Lt. Col. Stanislav Petrov




Lt. Col. Stanislav Petrov was the ranking officer at a critical Soviet nuclear missile delivery silo in the early 1980's.  Once upon a time on September 26th of 1983, the Soviet Union's long range missile detection sites discovered that the United States had launched an Intercontinental Ballistic Missile (ICBM) loaded with nuclear warheads, nails and dead babies at Russia and would hit the Motherland in fifteen minutes.  Russian leaders then flipped out and gave Col. Petrov the order to launch all of the nuclear weapons at his disposal immediately and wipe the planet clean of Capitalists for the rest of eternity.  When Petrov got the order, he was like, "Whatever dudes.  I'm busy.  I'll do it later".  A couple of minutes later, Soviet leaders discovered that the US actually hadn't launched any missiles, but rather that there was a glitch in their system, which was crappy and out-of-date.  Even though Petrov's actions saved the world from a thermonuclear holocaust, his bosses still got totally pissed at him for being a slacker and not following orders.

Col. Petrov is a perfect example of laziness and procrastination paying off big time.  Just think of that the next time your boss slams some extra work down on your desk and tells you to do it "immediately" and that it's a matter of life and death oh my god what the hell do it now or you'll be fired, because there's probably a good chance that kicking back and putting it off until later will make you one of the greatest heroes of your generation.  Case in point:  this website.  If I didn't slack off at least two or three hours a week at work, who would entertain you on a weekly basis?  Slacking off rules.

You can read more about the man who is solely responsible for the continuation of sentient life on this planet by visiting the Wikipedia article link above.







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