The Badass of the Week.

Ron Woods

Picture this:  You're driving down the streets of South Carolina in the early morning.  The streetlights are all still on and the sun has yet to make its ascent.  Your head is pounding from partying too hard the night before, though you can't even remember exactly what you guys were even doing last night.  It's all a blur.  You're only thinking of one thing right now, and that's a bigass cup of coffee and a handful of painkillers to try and lessen the dull throbbing in your head, a strange by-product of your caffeine addiction and having slammed your head on the bathroom counter the night before while you were stumbling around in the dark.  You finally get into the local gas station, grab a bag of beef jerky and pour yourself a tall cup of second-rate black coffee.  The aroma of fresh-brewed Colombian java heightens your cognitive senses just enough that you remember you're going to be at work in a half hour and won't get to partake in a hard-earned night of comatose sleep any time in the foreseeable future.  Your spirits sink again.

You pay for the coffee, hop back into your car and search for a radio station that's playing any kind of music at all.  All you get is the inane banter of morning talk show hosts as they bitch about why eighteen year-old girls don't throw themselves at fat, overweight balding thirty-somethings with no social skills.  You groan and flip the dial off.  The first beam of the sun starts to rise on the horizon and it pierces your skull like a dagger.  You shield your eyes as it ducks behind a cloud.  You catch your first glimpse of yourself in the rearview as you're stopped at a red light.  Damn, you look like hell.  You rub your dry red eyes and look out the side window to see what's going on.  You're confronted by a man with a gun.  He taps on the window with his pistol and motions for you to open the door.  He looks serious.

What do you do?

Most of us would probably just grumble profanity under our breath and/or piss ourselves, right before getting out of the car and letting this thug totally fucking ruin our day.  Well this happened to some dude last week, and he dealt with it in the way that only a total badass could.

Ron Woods didn't fuck around.  He was ready to end this shit.  The dude opened his car door, took a step back and as soon as the thug got into the drivers' seat Woods kicked the door into the dudes's legs and threw his full cup of scalding hot coffee into his face.  The thug reached for his eyes and brought his gun up, but Ron Woods chucked his cell phone at the guy, grabbed the pistol by the hammer and started jacking this motherfucker in the face like he didn't even give a shit.  The gun fired off a round into the air and instead of freaking out Ron Woods got so pissed off the he fucking took the thug down, kept beating the shit out of him and wrestled the gun away.  Then Woods chased the thug into a nearby forest before giving up and going back to his car to eat some damned beef jerky.

That's awesome.

If more people had one-tenth the nuts that this dude had then crime would be a thing of the past.  He didn't start this shit, but he totally fucking ended it.  Beating the crap out of a guy who's trying to carjack you while you're on the way to work is probably one of the most hardass things I've ever heard.  This guy is a true badass of the highest order.  You can read about his story here.


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